Thursday, November 18, 2010

Maybe it's time

Dear Self,

It is time to change your ways. It is not normal to think to yourself, "Okay, it's midnight. That means I still have 8 hours to work on this paper before I have to turn it in in the morning."

You need to sleep.



Wednesday, November 10, 2010


4:38pm - Arrive at library to finish last 12 pages of paper

7:45pm - Take dinner break and buy 3 cookies to get through the long night

10:10pm - Start getting sleepy from lack of previous night's sleep.

10:15pm - Lay head down on arm and fall asleep for 15 minutes.

10:30pm - Wake up from arm-sleep, work a teeny, go down aisle to find book

10:40pm - While flipping through book, get sleepy again

10:45pm - Lay down IN THE AISLE and fall asleep because you're shameless and have no control. This time it's 40 minutes

11:25pm - Get woken up by the vacuum guy. Stand up awkwardly and pretend like you weren't sleeping even though you both know you were. Go back to table.

11:30pm - Get sleepy again and succumb to arm-sleep once more.

11:40pm - Wake up from arm-sleep and decide maybe it's time to walk home.

11:55pm - Arrive home and spend all night on the couch in and out of sleep while writing said paper.

I think maybe I have a problem...

Monday, November 8, 2010

You have to tell us what happened!

I've already had the best moment of my week and it's only MONDAY! As you can probably guess, this best moment has nothing to do with the paper I have to finish today, and EVERYTHING to do with teaching (okay, you may not have guessed that last part based on recent emotional breakdowns I've had, but bear with me).

Today, I was teaching my crazies again in the ESL class. We ran out of time and I was telling them about the issue of slavery in writing the constitution. The BEST part was when I told them we didn't have time to finish and they had to put their binders away. Seriously, 4 or 5 of my CRAZIEST kids got all worried and said, "Wait! You have to tell us what happened! What did they decide?!"

Wha...?! They wanted to learn for the sake of learning? It wasn't to get a treat or a prize or anything? Yes. They just wanted to learn. I realized right then that that is a moment I will live for as a teacher. I told them that if they hurried back to their seats before the bell rang I would tell them. All the kids ran back to their desks and were SILENT so I would finish the story.


Wednesday, November 3, 2010

From the Lowest of Lows to the Highest of Highs

So I had an interesting experience this week. I have previously mentioned various teaching experiences I have had and how excited they have made me to be a real full-time teacher. Especially in a middle school. For some strange reason that is incomprehensible to my friends and family, I feel like my place is among the 13-year olds. (similar maturity levels you ask?....perhaps)

Well, this week I discovered that teaching is not all sunshine and roses.

For the past month, I've been working with a middle school ESL class and to put it lightly, they are THE MOST OUT-OF-CONTROL CLASS I've ever seen. Cute kids, but seriously crazy. Their teacher's style of discipline was very different from any I've ever been taught, and from what I could tell was not very effective. So on Monday I had the opportunity to teach them for the first time. And despite the very clear warning signs that I had been given, I was under the impression that they would never be a problem for me. I would surely be able to handle them with a healthy little dose of TLC. After all, they had shown during the previous month that they liked me and gave me high-fives whenever they came into their classroom and saw me there. That's a recipe for a healthy teaching environment, right?

No. No. No. It was one of the hardest days I've ever had. Just an hour and a half with those kids and I was at my wit's end with how to deal with them. They yelled, chatted, were constantly up out of their seats, never listened, were never on task, complained, you name it. I came home that day more depressed than ever. I was blindsided. By 13-year olds. I never even saw it coming. I cried a little, said a prayer, cried a little more, called my dad. For the first time since choosing my major, I started to wonder if this is something I'm really cut out for. What if I was just a horrible teacher and I just never had enough experience in the classroom to realize it? The moment that day that had broken my heart was when one little girl, who had previously been my biggest fan, threw her head back at one point and said (rather loudly), "I would rather be ANYWHERE but here!" Okay, how do you not take that personally? I word-vomited all this onto my poor father, who lovingly replied, "Ang, you're going to be fine. It was one day. To be honest, I don't know why you ever wanted to be in a middle school anyway." Then my heart sunk as I realized, maybe they were all right. All those people who told me it's crazy to want to teach kids in middle school full-time. What if I should really be in a high school?! It's too late!! I'm already set up to teach in a junior high in DC!! What if I die?!?! Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

Luckily, as outlined by the title of this post things got better. 1000X better. Today, Wednesday, I had the chance to teach my beloved crazies again. And something magical happened.

They listened.

I don't know what did the trick. Whether it was the new seating arrangement, the new rules, the different activity for the lesson, or all three. But for some reason, we connected today. They weren't out-of-control, in fact they were the most in-control I've ever seen them. In the beginning they complained of course, but by the end of the lesson my biggest complainers, "the divas" as I like to call them, were more into the lesson than anyone. They were shouting at the other kids to go faster! To say their part right! They were running to accomplish their task! It was AWESOME. Not only did they have fun and get really into the lesson, but they LEARNED it. At the end of class I wanted to see how effective it had been so I was throwing out questions fast,

"What was our first form of government after the Revolutionary War?"
"Why didn't it work?"
"What year was the constitution written?"
"What was Shay's Rebellion?"
"Why was it important?"

They knew every. single. one.

They got it! They understood the history behind the lesson. And they knew it well! I was thrilled. And then, to top it all off, my biggest fan little girl ran up to me after class and said, "Are you gonna be our teacher for the whole term?!" When I told her I'm just teaching her class for this week, she let out a big, sad groan and said, "No! Teach us all the time!"

I almost cried again. Not really, but it would have been appropriate.